Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize