I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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