I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I can text with my tongue
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
