does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Randomize
