So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
