What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
