i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
