just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
