I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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