Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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