Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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