I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So vagazzling was a success
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
