it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
