so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
