umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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