i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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