Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
