Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
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When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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