sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I have tasted many bathrooms
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
