i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
