Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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