In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
When did angry sex become our thing?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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