ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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