His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
