How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
