Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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