im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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