your parents love me but you hate me
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
