Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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