Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
