i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize