I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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