I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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