her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
