I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Four minutes until I can fart!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
