He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
