i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
