i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
