Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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