No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
