so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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