Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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