16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize