In the future we'll all be gay
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
