if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
