I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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