adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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