i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize