so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
