It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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