I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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