now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
