Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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