I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
