I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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