i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
