office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
