DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We're too hungover to prance.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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