There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
