im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
