So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
