just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize