the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
